ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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