I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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