I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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