Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize