IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
