my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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