youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
