I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize