What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
