where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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