batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
