He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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