I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
