Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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