Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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