Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
