do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
