I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i love accidental penises.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
