just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
