This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
