Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
