Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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