fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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