Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
