I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
