Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize