i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
