did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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