My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
