Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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