They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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