I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize