I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
