I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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