No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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