The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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