is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize