The maid of honor just puked.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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