Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
