My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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