So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
