True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
