You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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