Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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