saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize