We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
