Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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