dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
