there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
