does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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