i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
