he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize