He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
