No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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