We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
