watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
porn star boner night. come get it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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