i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
