Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
