Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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