The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
