you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
