Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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