I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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