singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
