Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
