I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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